David Letterman Top 12 Reasons to be a Nascar Driver

Last night, David Letterman had his Top Ten segment for the drivers in the Chase. It was called the "Top Twelve perks of being a Nascar Driver" Their answers were a little corny...well very corny, so I am going to come up w/ what they should have said. I need a few minutes to get my creative thinking cap on. Stay tuned.

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TWELVE: "Perks of Being a NASCAR Driver"
As presented by the top 12 NASCAR drivers in the Chase for the Sprint Cup on the Tuesday, Sept. 9 broadcast of the "LATE SHOW with David Letterman":


(Do not pay any attention to the political blurb on the front of this video)

12. Matt Kenseth: Crazy gas prices? I don’t care…I’m not payin’.
11. Kevin Harvick: Bring your helmet to Taco Bell and they’ll fill it up with guacamole, free.
10. Jeff Gordon: Don’t have to shave your body like Olympic swimmers. Although, why not?
9. Greg Biffle: Hasselhoff promised me one of those talking cars.
8. Tony Stewart: I use old checkered flags to make fabulous throw pillows.
7. Jeff Burton: There’s nothing like going through a car wash at 190 miles per hour.
6. Denny Hamlin: GPS underpants.
5. Clint Bowyer: Sorry, I forgot my joke – I was thinking about Jessica Alba – man she’s hot.
4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Run out of olive oil? A little Quaker State will spruce up any salad.
3. Jimmie Johnson: Traveling to exotic locations like Martinsville, Virginia and Dover, Delaware.
2. Carl Edwards: At high school reunions, it’s fun to ask, “So what do you do for a living?”
1. Kyle Busch: After a race, your ass vibrates for days.

I am having issues here people. I guess I shouldn't blog during a deadline. Please post any suggestions under comments!

12. Matt Kenseth:
11. Kevin Harvick:
10. Jeff Gordon: You get to marry Super Models
9. Greg Biffle:
8. Tony Stewart: I am 20 pounds overweight and Subway still endorses me!
7. Jeff Burton: Um, can you say free cell phones?
6. Denny Hamlin: Wherever I want to go, I can get there by 10:30 tomorrow (thanks! that was a good one)
5. Clint Bowyer:
4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.:
3. Jimmie Johnson: See Jeff's answer
2. Carl Edwards:
1. Kyle Busch: Without Nascar, I wouldnt get laid.