"You have got to be kidding me"

Megan and I were at Daytona in July when Randy Moss unveiled his new truck team! How exciting, we just happened to be standing right there, as the cameras rolled, and flashbulbs clicked...it was like paparazzi central! When Megan asked the person in front of us very quietly "Who is that???!" and they enthusiastically replied, "Randy Moss, he has a truck team now!!!" - I unfortunately was thinking out loud again, and said, quite obnoxiously "OHHH You have got to be kidding me?" to which I was greeted with stares and glares.....WOOPS!!! I hate thinking outloud!!!! But apparently Racing News agrees with me....see below!

Randy-Moss-To-Start-Nascar-Truck-Team-And-No-Were-Not-Joking

Randy Moss, the man who combined with Tom Brady to give us quite the fantasy football season last year (and, apparently, helped take the Patriots to the Super Bowl), is going to be starting a NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series team. Fox Sports is reporting that Moss hopes to get the team running in races later this year in advance of a full 2009 season. At the moment he lacks a manufacturer, a driver and a sponsor. But he's Randy Moss, so that doesn't much matter. Plus, if Dan Marino and Troy Aikman can do it why can't he?

Track Lizards?? I think not....

So after thoroughly enjoying the rawness of Tony Stewart's Rolling Stone's article, it got me to thinking....What is a track lizard...thank the lord for the power of google and I think I have got a powerful image of what one is...please see above.

But I wonder if Smokey poops will have any recourse from his comments?? Does he even care? Now I havent spent five minutes near him so I cant say for sure...but shouldnt he be careful with his casually flung use of the P word?? You better start winning some races, my love or the only track lizard that will be knocking on your hauler will be this gorgeous geico...

Just Saying.....

Nicknames....Part III

Ahh Craigers...glad you came to give some input on the nicknames. Yes, THANK GOD for us...I mean how ever would these boys we entertained??? I would like to add a couple more points on nicknames....Why dont we rewind to this past July? I remember always thinking it was funny to call Martin's coach driver/golf cart driver - Tuna - "Toonces". Just like the old SNL skit about the cat that could drive a car...remeber "Toonces the driving cat"? Had a nice little theme song....I remember being at the bud bistro, getting some bloody marys from our favorite bartender Janelle...Tuna (aka Toonces) and Tool (aka Tits McGee) always would literally "tool around" in the black/flamed golfcart. We alwasy saw them together so after a few drinks Toonces/Tool would sometimes be hard to differenciate.

Fast forward to a few more bloodys later. Darlynn attemped to ask where "Toonces the driving cat, and Tool" were?....and somehow or another- what came out of her mouth, would become one of the funniest things, to this day, that will bring me to the ground laughing. She very innocently asked "I wonder where Toonces the Toolsy Cat is?"

TOONCES, THE TOOLSY CAT? Did you just actually say that Craig? Yes, she replied..Toonces the Toolsy Cat. We both thought about it for a second......looked at each other, and never again would be the same.

Next, came the song. Its hard to sing on "type"...but the boys know it, and man did they hear it every 47 seconds, cause we couldnt stop singing it, and laughing about it like it was the funniest thing ever in the history of comedy.

One more July story about nicknames. Friday night before the Coke 400. It was July 4th, Darlynn had several activities going on that day- so me and Megan were on our own. After meeting our darling friend Knuckles for dinner/drinks at The Deck down under - (along with all the DEI people having a company dinner and Reegs and his girl Megan and crew) we went for some late night drinking at a friendly establishment called - YaYa's.

I proceed to drink everything at the bar. Beer, vodka, shots of jagermeister...NOT JAGABAAAMS, some other shots that people bought us...everything..you get the picture. Fast forward to Ally interpertive dancing to an Aerosmith song, or maybe a country song...who knows. But it was pretty stupid for the most part. My neices boyfriend Eric drove my car home that night...thank god. Go to sleep- wake up 10:00am. (Race day) Still HAMMERED.

We get to the track around 6 or so. We have learned our lesson not to go to the track at 3pm- so we can melt in the 100 degree florida July heat. NOT FUN. I am hurting....like bad. My head hurts, my body hurts from my "Dancing with the Stars" routine I pulled the night before, and we wont even get started on my stomach. We take a lap thru the gee-rage....Ok, here come the looks again. Its those 3 girls. Sheesh...i feel like crap. Stop staring at me already! We make our way over to our guys in the 1 team. Smiles galore..."hello ladies how are you feeling today?" Megan and Darlynn are in wonderful shape, looking beautiful, as per usual. Then you have me...I have a puss on, and I am feeling like Ass on Wheels. Bono walks up to greet us, to which we are always so happy to see our Bonsey poops. "HEY UNCLE DRUNKLE- HOW YOU FEELIN?" - everyone busts out laughing. Including me....I was like - UM did you just call me, "Uncle Drunkle?"- He told me he loved my interperative dance, and I was very enertaining. Thank god I didnt make an ass of myself or anything.....

Ally= Uncle Drunkle.

edited on 8/28/08
Megan= The New One
Darlynn= The Other One

I guess I have a nickname too - that is not Allyrockr.

Step it up ladies. We need them to give you 2 nicknames!

Thank you, goodnite.

Darlynn's take on the nicknames...finally!

Greetings from Vomit Village!

I believe this is my first actual real post on this blog...although there has been no lack of entertainment, I wanted to put my input in on our love for nicknames and how it really kind of was an accident and now has become a full fledged hobby.
My Nascar influence is life long, believe it or not...I was still in my mothers stomach as my uncle and her sat in the same winston, sprint whatever you want to call it tower seats in July of '73. Every February my uncle comes down from his home in long island and sits in these seats to this day. I laugh at him, his atypicalness of it all...with all his teeth and his aristocrat ways, he defys that wrong redneck perception of a NASCAR fan.
Untill I started working for a MRN affiliate thirteen years ago, i didnt really follow other than my uncles gentle orders AJ Foyt! Tony Stewart! There is a time when Ally and I were backstage (what I refer to as the garage and pits) that I couldnt tell you Mike Helton from Richard Petty (come on...they do look a little bit alike minus the hat).
A few years ago, I had a nascar related event to where for the first time I had to know all the numbers all the drivers all the teams stat...so ally and i made a game that we could change the name of the drivers as long as we stayed within the same team. It really helped!! But, what fun to see at the horrified looks at fellow race fans as I screamed look its Casey McMears! Its the little things really....
I believe the vast of the nicknames with the #1 boys had to be from Darlynnton...it was pretty easy based on our limited amount of activities...with Sammy strips a lot, will rocks a lot, tits mcgee...which just was so much easier to scream than tool mittons...same initials you see.
And the Doodle...boy do I regret this one...maybe because its not the manliest but again I was on a kick and just came home from seeing my brand new niece who was as cute as a doodle...it was meant as a pet name, a compliment...I just didnt think it would stick universally...and i guess thankfully it wasnt the time that i called everything punkin or pookie...things could have been must worse...i assure you. And apparently Clark period isnt sticking either...and doodle strips a lot... well, would be a repeat and just doesnt roll off the tongue as easy!
So there it is... my not as funny but a little bit more of the inside on the reasoning why grown women in their 30's spend hours laughing at these little names...
see you soon!!

Where theres smoke....

I just finished reading what may be one of the best interviews ever. You have to take 5 min to read this....trust me.


NASCAR superstar Tony Stewart brawls, cusses, eats way too many doughnuts and (usually) drives a race car better than anyone on earth. How did a potbellied prima donna become the soul of auto racing?
(Mike Guy rollingstone.com)
Click here for the whole article

The "New" Budweiser Shootout

From the moment I started following Nascar, the Budweiser Shootout quickly became one of my favorite racing events. It is in my backyard, it is a night race, it isn't long and it is an overall fun race to watch. I just read that they are changing the format of the race for 2009. Instead of it being a race between pole winners and previous shootout champions, the lineup will now consist of the top-six teams from each manufacturer, based on the final 2008 car owner points.

So, here is my problem with this. This really limits your top drivers that will racing for the Shootout. For instance, take a look at Tony Stewart and Ryan Newman. The top six teams of each manufacturer (not drivers) at the end of the 2008 season clinched their berths. Since it is based off the manufacturer, not the driver, I would assume that Tony and Ryan wont make the race? I don't like this new method, not at all.

If the season was over today, this is the lineup for the drawing party:
Chevy: Dale Jr., Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Burton, Kevin Harvick, Jeff Gordon, Clint Bowyer
Ford: Carl Edwards, Greg Biffle, Matt Kenseth, David Ragen, Jamie McMurray, Travis Kvapil
Dodge: Kasey Kahne, Ryan Newman*, Kurt Busch, Elliot Sadler, Juan Pablo Montoya, Bobby Labonte
Toyota: Kyle Busch, Tony Stewart*, Denny Hamlin, Brian Vickers, David Reutimann, Michael Waltrip

I am going to keep my comments to myself.

Nicknames - AS WE know them....

We have taken pride in the fact that we have great nicknames for all of the Nascar Nation....now, some of them are different variations of already given nicknames - we have taken them to another level. I might also add- that some of these names, we heard from our friends...they know who they are, and they know they get the credit. Lets go down the list....

#01 - Regan Smith - Reegs
#1 - Martin Truex Jr - "Martin Truex Jr"
#1 -Crew Chief - Kevin Manion - Bonseypoops or BP
#1- PR Manager- Blair Minton - Tits Mcgee or Tool Mittens
#1- Coach driver - Ed Tuna Susan - TOOONCES THE TOOLSEY CAT!!!
#1- Mechanic- Clark Rupp - Doodle
and I can go on and on here- Sammy Strips alot, Will Rocks alot, Gary Stares a lot...or Starey, Joey the Wingmaster, SweetJim, you get the idea...yes, We love our #1 crew. OK????

#5 - Casey Mears - Casey McMears
#6- David Ragan - The OTHER Regan Smith ...or David Regan Smith
#07- Clint Bowyer - Clyde Bowser
#7-Robby Gordon - Crash Gordon
#9- Kasey Khane - KATIE Khane
#16 - Greg Biffle - THE BIFF
#18 - Kyle Busch- Kryle Busch aka Dumbo aka Moron aka Peewee aka i can go on for hours here...
#20- Tony Stewart - Tonybear - hes so hairy and luvable!!! we love the Tony!!
#22 - Dave Blaney - Fuckin Jagerbombs. Has NOTHING to do with Dave Blaney at all. Thank Tommy Baldwin for that one.
#24 - Jeff Gordon- kinda lame, but he is just Jeffy to us.
#26 - Jaime McMurray - , Jamie McMears, Jamie MACCCCmurry
#28 - Travis Kvapil- Travis KAAVVVVAAA-PLE
#29- Kevin Harvick - Mr. Delana
#40 - Dario Franchitti- DARIO Speedwagon. (not ours, but so amazingly brilliant)
#42 - Juan Pablo Montoya- Juan Problem, or John Paul Montana
#45 - Kyle Petty - Our Stalker
#48- Jimmie Johnson- OMG CHAD KNAUS!!
#55 - Michael Waltrip - Mikey Wallacetrip
#83 - Brian Vickers- HABV. If you dont know what the HA means...you dont need to :)
#84- Aj Allmendinger - The Dinger
#88 - Dale Jr. Ok we can go on for hours about the nicknames. We personally, refer to him, as our Juney.
#99- Carl Edwards - hmm Megan gets to start here: Hottie Mchotterton, Ally says: Teeth Magillacutty, or Chicklets. Now as of late, we have Mr Ed...and Cousin Carl and Concrete Carl and Carls Jr (damn they have great burgers!) and Carly Simon (who also looks like a horse type person) and so on and so on....

some others of note:

Joey Logano - My little Pony, Joey Nangano
Kenny Wallace- Kenny Wallcetrip
Rusty Wallace - Rusty Wallacetrip
Dale Jarrett - DJ aka slalslslslslsaallalalalalalalalalalxolaalallaalal - oh heavens to betsy.
Larry McReynolds - Larry MAC or TIIIN
Slugger Labbe- Clubber Labbe Bitches
Tommy Baldwin Jr.- Fuckin Jager Baaams

I think that wraps up this evenings lesson in Nascar nicknames. There will be MANY more to come, and never again will we let Kryle Busch ONE UP us on coming up with a good nickname. Dammit.

My little pony....sweet little pony...

I know Carl is the older and wiser horse in the stable... but he better watch out for my little pony, who is trotting up behind him. Next year, this little baby horsie will be driving the 20, and hot on the hoofs of Mr. Ed(wards).

the can can

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The worst trophy in NASCAR???

SO, after watching Concrete Carl, Cousin Carl, Mr. Ed, Hottie McHotterton (ok, I nicknamed him that)....waving a giant Sharpie trophy after he won the Bristol race, I have to think, if I was a Nascar driver, which trophy would I not want?





And here are a few that I actually like.......

hmmmm

I am SO out of the loop on this one, as I was out entertaining and didn't really have time to watch all of the race. I will come up with a rebuttal! Eventually. How glad was I not to be anywhere near Martins pit box when he wrecked?

Mr Ed...

OH my- Mr. Ed. How did we, the queens of coming up with some of the best nicknames - NOT come up with this one?